It would be great if children came with instruction manuals. Unfortunately, we parents must muddle through on instinct, advice, and a lot of luck. With that said, there are some strengths of a good parent that can help you on your way.
Think of these like a North Star for parenting and developing characteristics of a good person in your children!
Communicating Well
Is there anything more infuriating for a child than being told to do something just because? We probably all remember the frustration of hearing that from our parents.
As a parent, you need to be willing to sit down and talk to your kid about the reasons for your actions.
Why can’t they wear a bathing suit to school? When will they be allowed to hold their little sister?
Giving children real, detailed answers makes them feel empowered and understood.
In many ways, all other strengths of a good parent flow from good communication.
Remaining Consistent
You may have clear expectations for your kid’s behavior. If you don’t set a standard and stick to it, your child will not learn. Whether you’re talking about keeping a bedtime or leaving the table with a clean plate, you have to remain consistent.
Remember, children are observant. They will remember your guidance, but they’ll also remember when you’re inconsistent.
Consistency is key for being an effective parent.
Giving Praise
It can be a slog – for both you and your child – to constantly be correcting bad behavior. Remember to recognize when they behave well and draw attention to it.
Tell them what a good job they did cleaning up their toys or how proud you are that they waited their turn on the playground.
This isn’t just important for your child. Taking a moment to praise good behavior means reminding yourself that you are doing a good job as a parent!
You can also work a reward system into your kids’ behavior or chore charts. For each task completed, they can get a star or a sticker. If they complete a certain number of tasks, they can choose a special reward.
Modeling Good Behavior
One of life’s great ironies is that once we become adults, we have the freedom to act like children. Anyone who has impulse-purchased a candy bar at the checkout counter or spent an entire Saturday in pajamas will understand.
Always remember that your child is observing you and will model your actions.
As tempting as it is, avoid distracting yourself on your phone or flopping down in front of the TV around them. Show kindness to others and model the behavior you want them to display.
Being Available
Sometimes, parenting feels like an unending series of tasks. Feed them, dress them, play a game, clean up a mess. It can wear you down.
Even so, remember how much your children value time with you. You are the coolest person they know, at least for now! Keep that in mind when you’re reading that storybook for the thirtieth time. They really love being with you.
Showing Love
It is the most natural thing in the world to show love. As parents, though, we sometimes get distracted with the minutiae of childcare and forget to show affection for its own sake.
Remind yourself to give that extra hug and express clearly how much each child means to you.
Raising a child is the most challenging and rewarding thing you will ever do. Some days, it might feel overwhelming, even impossible.
It isn’t impossible, and these strengths of a good parent are a great start toward finding your path!