If you were not lucky enough to grow up with a good family, you may be wondering what you can do to change the patterns in your family and build a good family that supports, uplifts, and cheers each other along.
These 10 qualities of a good family are a great place to start in helping to build your family into one you can be proud of and to teach your children good characteristics of a person.
Love
A good family loves each other unconditionally.
No love isn’t perfect and this doesn’t mean you will always get along, but at the end of the day, what matters is that you love each other and will do anything for each other.
The love you demonstrate with your partner and your children will dictate how your children behave with each other and their future families.
Boundaries
When you are building your family, you need to set rules and expectations for everyone.
These rules need to be fair to everyone.
When setting rules, make sure they are reasonable and fitting to the age and abilities of each child. Set fair consequences that like the rules are fitting by the age and capabilities of each person.
Some of my favorite parenting resources are Boundaries With Kids, which will help you set strong boundaries from a Christian perspective, and Parenting With Love and Logic, which teaches how to use natural consequences to discipline your children.
Respect
Respect, both for the parents and for the children, is vital to a healthy family relationship.
While we often feel that respect should be given to elders and that young people should earn it, this can lead to disrespect on both sides.
When you show respect for your child from the start, they are more likely to behave in a way deserving of that respect and to give you respect in return.
A good family has a balanced and mutual respect between its members.
Guidance
It is your job as the parents to provide guidance for your children to help them grow and thrive.
As your children grow older, they will begin to offer guidance to younger siblings that look up to them. Your home becomes the place that your family can feel safe enough to go when they need a push in the right direction.
When providing guidance for your child, avoid nagging or using guilt or shame to force your child to follow your guidance.
Instead, offer guidance and support and offer a listening ear and empathy when your child decides to learn the hard way (and they will, as this is part of their personal growth).
This is such a great lesson that every child needs to learn, and they’re in a better position to learn while they’re younger.
Check out Parenting With Love and Logic for examples and techniques to show your child guidance through tough lessons.
Communication
Without communication, families can not grow and thrive.
Spending time with your family to work on effective communication skills and taking the time to talk to your child about things that may not be the most comfortable can do a long way in helping build a strong and resilient family.
Trust
Trust is vital to a healthy family dynamic. Teach your child to be worthy of your trust and that trustworthiness is one of the most valuable traits they can have.
Showing others that you can be trusted and learning to trust your family members is essential to having a good family dynamic.
Support
Good families support each other through thick and thin. This can range from simply giving a hand up when one person falls on hard times or as simple as showing up to cheer each other on for big events and such.
When each member of the family feels supported, they are more likely to be willing to support everyone else.
Your family home becomes a supportive space where your kids can feel comfortable talking about their dreams and goals in life.
One of my favorite resources to learn exactly how to create the supportive environment your kids need is the Parenting Manual 101 course.
Learn more about the course here:
Empathy
When you are raising your children, you want to raise them with empathy and to help teach them to have empathy for others.
When we take the time to show our children what it means to step into someone else’s shoes and take a look at the situation with understanding and kindness, we show our children .
Adaptability
Life is full of twists and turns. When things go wrong or change hits, it is the families that are the most adaptable and resistant that manage to hold it all together.
Demonstrate and encourage adaptability for your family.
When things do not go as planned, be ready with a backup plan to help make the most of the situation. At the same time, you’ll teach your family that a change of plans is not the end of the world.
Quality time
To build quality relationships with your family, you need to take time to spend truly quality time with each other.
In today’s world, everyone is so busy that it can be hard to achieve quality family time.
Make a point to plan activities with your kids, including activities like family game nights, movies, hiking trips, and other activities that are planned ahead so that everyone has time to enjoy together.
You can even use this fun conversation starters game at dinner to help get everyone chatting.
Remember that no one is perfect and no family will ever be perfect. But with some real effort you can build a strong, happy, and successful family.
These are just a few of the common qualities you will find in a good family.