Parenting is tough work! We’re expected to do all. the. things. And do them well! But what are the characteristics of a good mom? And how do you get those qualities?
It’s not easy being a mom, especially if you’re feeling insecure as a parent, but I’ve noticed that there are certain things that exceptional moms do well.
And for the rest of us? Luckily, these are good characteristics of a person that we can ALL learn, practice, and improve on. 😉
Before you get totally overwhelmed, thinking that there’s no way you can do one more thing, note that these characteristics of a good mother are learned behaviors. They’re character traits that, if you’re not already doing, you can easily add with a little practice.
For each of these, I included a resource or tip to help you get there!
And, if you’re looking for inspiration (or pretty reminders to place on your desk), get theses printable characteristics in the Organized Motherhood Shop.
One of the first things new moms learn (aside from the importance of sleep) is patience.
Newborns cry, toddlers get into everything, and older kids try to test your limits. But it’s difficult for young children to learn patience, especially when adults struggle to model it.
Even on the most difficult days, like when your toddler clearly isn’t patient, staying patient as a mom is important. Not only will it help you model “good behavior” for your child, but it’ll also help you respond to your children with a level head.
Learning to have patience takes practice.
Just like you try to teach a toddler patience (waiting to turn the pages in a book, taking turns with toys, not eating a snack five minutes before dinner, etc.), moms need reminders, too.
Self-care goes a long way in staying patient, but if you’ve been struggling with finding time for self-care, or even if you feel guilty making the time, stop!
Here are some tips to make time for self-care so that you can be a good example of patience (and calm) around your kids.
Consistency is one of the easiest ways to make your child feel secure, yet it’s one of the most difficult things to do as a parent.
We want to be the good parent. The fun parent. The understanding parent.
But the consistent parent? That’s not fun!
The lesson on being consistent was one of my favorite sections of the Parenting Manual 101 course.
I struggle with giving in when my kids want to stay outside for 10 more minutes. I also make excuses, like when they don’t eat all their dinner and want a cookie (oh, I gave them too much food).
But we’re not doing our kids any favors when we give in.
Instead of teaching them that I’m a reasonable parent, I’m teaching my kids that they should whine when they don’t get their way.
When they go to school, do I really want them whining to their teacher because they would rather have recess instead of a math lesson? No!
By being consistent, you’ll show your kids boundaries. They’ll learn what’s acceptable, and they’ll feel more confident in their own decision-making.
Learning to be consistent, as with most parenting principles, is a difficult lesson. But once you learn how to be consistent, you’ll be amazed at the difference in your kids.
Get the Parenting Manual 101 HERE for the best ways to raise your kids well while keeping your cool.
From a former teacher, this course is filled with practical tips and ideas to be consistent while disciplining in an effective way.
Kids make mistakes. So do parents.
Good moms forgive their kids. Really good moms forgive their kids while helping them learn a lesson.
One of my favorite parenting books, Parenting with Love and Logic, shares tips to teach your kids lessons naturally.
Your child didn’t eat his lunch? Dinner will be delicious.
It takes the pressure off parents to discipline because kids will learn consequences naturally (obviously, it’s still the parent’s job to keep kids safe, so letting your child run in the street probably isn’t recommended as a natural consequence).
It’s ok to be upset when the kids break your favorite coffee mug, and Love and Logic helps you to see when it’s appropriate to show anger and when the kids need to learn from their mistakes.
But whether your kids do something to you or to someone else, forgiveness and lessons learned help them grow into a good person.
If forgiving children is one of the qualities of a good mother, then staying calm is also a requirement.
Motherhood is an emotional experience, and sometimes it’s hard to control your temper, even if you’ve never had a “temper problem” before.
When your patience is low, you’re tired, and you’re feeling stressed, it’s easy to lose your temper.
I’ll be the first to admit that I lose my temper more than I’d like to admit. The best thing that’s been helping me keep my temper in check is the anger management section of The Parenting Manual 101. It’s perfect for both parents and kids. 😉
Learning to reframe my frustration so that I can stay calm instead of screaming or taking it out on my kids has been life-changing.
I’ll admit – I have days when this is more of a struggle than others, but I love the refreshingly honest way that this course helps you to control your temper and get the kids to manage their frustrations in healthy ways.
Organization isn’t just about keeping the toys and clutter minimized. Staying organized can also mean time management, something many moms struggle with.
If you struggle with organization, especially when it comes to handling your kids’ school papers, projects, activities, and everything else, start by writing everything down. I keep track of my meal plan, kids’ activities, cleaning schedule, and more in the Organized Motherhood Home Binder each week.
Once you’ve gotten everything written down in one place, try applying the “touch it once” principle to everything you can.
When you bring in the mail or go through your kids’ papers, file, trash, or do something with them immediately. Your kitchen counters (and your kids’ teachers) will thank you.
You love your kids, but in the daily hustle, remembering to show unconditional love in little ways can be difficult.
When you’re throwing last night’s leftovers in a thermos for your son’s lunch or frantically trying to find your daughter’s shoes in the morning, love is probably the last thing you’re projecting.
Spending a couple extra seconds to hug your child as he runs out the door, make a “good day note” for his lunch box, or snuggle while reading an extra book at nap time is all it takes.
Get the Kids’ Letter Bundle for more “love note” ideas and ways to create special moments for your kids.
Your kids need you to be a good friend. Not to them, but to their friends’ moms. Despite the isolation of 2020, and even if you’re a single mother, parenting isn’t a solo act.
Being a parent forced me to step outside my comfort zone.
On one hand, it was nice to have other moms to commiserate with, but it was also a challenge. I had to talk to that mom on the sideline of my son’s baseball game instead of just snuggling into the couch with a good book, which is what I would’ve done pre-kids.
If you’re struggling to find or maintain friendships in motherhood, or even if you just want to be able to make conversation and exhibit good social skills by relating to the moms in your kids’ classes, I loved the wise advice in Never Unfriended by Lisa-Jo Baker.
Fierce mamas wear their Mama Bear apparel with pride!
There’s a time and place to be fierce, but when it’s necessary, you need to know the best way to pull out the claws.
One time when being fierce is important is during times of medical emergencies or when you need to protect your child.
My kids have food allergies, so I’ve struggled to find a balance with being fierce.
While I have to protect my kids from potentially life-threatening foods, I struggle with being too forceful and offending family members. However, after several situations when people didn’t heed my polite reminders, I’ve realized that it’s ok to be fierce in order to protect my children.
On the other hand, there are times when you should not be fierce, like when you’re working with your child’s teacher to correct behavior issues.
If it’s not a life-threatening issue, advice from trusted family members, friends, and teachers should be welcome.
Most people have your child’s best interests at heart. Even if you disagree with their opinion, in most situations, it’s best to take a balanced approach!
Siri is my best friend. For all my kids’ odd questions (how deep is the ocean? where do hippos live?), I ask my phone.
Chances are, you don’t know everything that your kids will ask. A knowledgeable mom doesn’t know everything, either (and if she did, I don’t think I’d want to be friends with her).
But a knowledgeable mom knows where to find answers to her kids’ questions (yes, Siri counts).
A knowledgeable mom also instills a hunger for learning in her kids. By having interesting conversations, asking questions, and listening to your kids, you can be a knowledgeable mom, even if you don’t know everything.
In addition to Siri, I love these conversation starter cards for kids. I get tired of asking my son, “What did you do in school today,” and I’m pretty sure he’s tired of answering the same question.
Just by going the extra step of talking to your kids and taking an interest in their activities, you’ll be able to show your love.
You’re loved more than you know. You’re braver than you even imagine. – Lisa-Jo Baker
Being a mom requires a bravery that you probably didn’t know you had.
Just making it through birth takes bravery.
But even after birth, you’ll need to be brave as you kiss your kids’ boo-boos. Brave as you send them off to preschool, then kindergarten, and then college. Brave as you raise them to be the people you always knew they would be.
One of the characteristics of a good mom is to be healthy. This can be achieved by following a healthy lifestyle, which includes exercise and diet.
Being a mom is hard and it can get even harder if you don’t take care of your health. You are the role model for your kids and you want to set a good example.
So, what can you do to be a healthy mom?
First of all, stop being lazy! Make time for exercise and make sure that you have a balanced diet. You need to make sure that you are getting enough vitamins and minerals, so try to include lots of fruits and vegetables in your diet.
It’s also important for moms to have a healthy lifestyle because it makes them more productive. Exercise helps moms maintain their weight, stay energized, and sleep better. Diet is important because it helps moms avoid health risks such as diabetes and heart disease.
We should not think about this as an obligation but instead as an investment in ourselves and our families. It will not only help us live longer, but also help us live healthier lives with the people we love most: our children.
- How to Stop Being Lazy and Exercise
- Characteristics of a Healthy Family
- How to Create a Healthy Living Plan
- Healthy Meal Planner to Crush Your Diet and Fitness Goals
- Best Way to Track Health and Fitness Goals
- The 6 Best Tips to Stay Healthy
Good Sense of Humor
Having a good sense of humour is an important part of parenting. It can help ease the stress of a difficult day and it can help your children learn to laugh at themselves.
But sometimes you might feel like you don’t have any funny material to work with, or that your jokes are stale.
Luckily, there are some great sources of humor that you can turn to for inspiration.
Here are some sources of humor that you might want to try:
- Watching a comedy show or movie, both with and without your kids (depending on the appropriateness of the movie)
- Reading a joke book (again, use your discretion, but there are some great kids’ joke books available)
- Watching a comedian’s stand up routine on YouTube or a funny podcast (you can also make a girls’ night out of going to see a comedian)
- Sharing funny notes in your kids’ lunches or putting them next to their beds or toothbrushes so they see them as soon as they wake up
Showing your kids hard work (and expecting hard work out of your kids) is necessary to build your kids’ work ethic and prepare them for the future.
Teach your kids how to have a sense of responsibility.
- Characteristics of responsible parenthood: How To Raise A Responsible Child
- 5 Ways to Raise Kids With a Good Work Ethic
- Chore Ideas for Kids: An Age Appropriate List From Toddlers to Teens
- Chore Chart Ideas for Kids
Meet your kids where they are. If they enjoy playing video games and board games, spend some quality time doing their favorite activities.
Spending family time together doing fun activities is a great way to build a good relationship with your kids. You’ll be able to talk to them more and find out what’s going on in your child’s life, which is especially important to do with older kids.
While older kids may be busy with school activities and spending time with their best friends, it’s still important to show them that they have a loving parent available whenever they need.
Being a good mom means being available when your kids need you.
This is not always easy to do, especially if you are juggling a career and taking care of your family. But if you want to be the best mom for your children, then it is important that you find the time for them.
Plan scheduled time for fun activities, but also make sure you’re available to talk before and after school.
Another great idea is to set up a code word for older children. If they need help or are in a compromising position and need to get picked up, give them a code phrase that they can text or call and you will be available to get them – no questions asked.
We all know that being a mom is a tough job. It’s not easy to be positive all the time, but it is something that we should strive to do.
We should take care of ourselves and try to always be happy. We need to remember that our children are watching us and will learn from us, so we need to set a good example for them.
If we are not happy, then we can’t expect them to be either. A good mom is one who is always positive and looks on the bright side of things. This doesn’t mean that she is always happy, but she can find something good in every situation.
A good mom is not just the one who cooks, cleans and takes care of the kids. She is someone who can provide emotional support, listen attentively, and even make jokes with her kids.
Being a good mom also means being supportive of your children’s dreams and goals. It also means being open-minded to new ideas, different cultures, and lifestyles. It also means being a great listener.
A good mother is someone who is nurturing, caring, and takes care of her children, her family, and her friends. A good mom wants to make the world a better place for everyone in it.
A nurturing parent is also responsible for the child’s well-being and safety.
There are many ways in which a mother can be nurturing. For example, she can provide emotional support for her children and make them feel loved and accepted. She can also provide guidance to the children when they need it.
What Are the Qualities of a Nurturing Parent?
Good Role Model
The term “role model” is a descriptive term for someone who is seen as an example to others of how they should behave or what they should do.
A great mom is a good role model for her children. But she can teach them simple things by example, like teaching them to make their bed in the morning, clean their room, and brush their teeth before bedtime.
Many parents are not perfect, but they still want to be a good role model for their children. This can be difficult when you are struggling with your own issues. It is important to remember that the most important thing is to be the best you can be and provide an example of how to deal with life’s challenges.
When it comes down to it, the most important thing about being a good mom is showing your kids how to deal with life’s challenges.
A welcoming mom is always ready to help with whatever the child needs. She will not give up on them when they are struggling with something or when they are feeling down.
A welcoming mom will also take care of the child’s needs before her own and make sure that the child has everything they need in order to grow up into a healthy adult.
This characteristic is an important one because it helps to make sure that the children feel comfortable and at ease.
A good mom also creates a welcoming environment at home by creating a happy, comfortable home that both her own family and their friends enjoy visiting.
No one is a perfect mom, and it can be helpful to share some of your own mistakes to show how you persevered. This is a great way to share life lessons that had a tremendous impact on your personal growth with your kids.
Provide your children with a sense of security by establishing healthy boundaries.
Establishing healthy boundaries is important for both children and parents. Parents should establish these boundaries in a way that is consistent with the child.
The most important thing to remember is that children are not just small adults. They have different needs, desires, and personalities. This means that they will have different boundaries than an adult would. A boundary could be limiting screen time or establishing what they are allowed to eat or drink. These boundaries should be set up so they can feel secure while still being able to explore their own individuality and interests.
It is important for parents and children to have mutual understanding about what the boundaries are. The boundaries should be reasonable and should not be too rigid or too loose. Having clear boundaries will help the child feel more secure as they will know what is expected from them and what they can expect from others.
What to do if you’re struggling as a mom
If you’re struggling with one of these 21 characteristics of a good mom, help is available!
Start by enrolling in the Parenting Manual 101, create your own mommy group, or join a support group.
Toddler time at your local library and kids’ sports are excellent places to meet like-minded moms.
Parenting is a tough road full of stressful situations, but it’s worth it to watch your kids grow into amazing people. Even if you feel like you’re struggling through this parenting journey, know that you’re not alone. You can do this, mama!
Related reading on Organized Motherhood:
Being Raised By a Single Mother Compared To a Single Father? – Child Development in Context
Monday 26th of April 2021
[…] position as partnered fathers because of the necessity of doing tasks generally associated with mothering (Dufur, Howell, Downey, Ainsworth, Lapray […]
Wednesday 23rd of August 2017
I am so happy I read this post tonight. Today was a very trying day with my little 5 years old love and 2 month old baby. And it was very refreshing to see all these kind reminders. I love how you linked to the resources too! Awesome post girl :)
Sunday 27th of August 2017
Friday 18th of August 2017
These are some traits I strive to have. I love how you recommended so many awesome resources in this post too. You're right the first thing we learn is patience, but when the kids get older we seem to lose that skill along the way.
Sunday 27th of August 2017
So true! It's hard to keep our expectations realistic as they get older, too.
Friday 18th of August 2017
This is a fab list- I can relate to so much of This! Thanks for linking up with #TwinklyTuesday
Gentle Joy Photography
Wednesday 16th of August 2017
Great points... and yes, all are needed as a Mom..... and as a wife. :)